“Come to me, all you who are weary or burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
Psalm 42:11
I’m not sure exactly what “guilty pleasure” means, but I have always used the phrase to refer to something you enjoy about which you are or could be (if you cared) embarrassed. I’m not sure I’m embarrassed about this, but one of my guilty pleasures is watching medical procedures. I saw my first on PBS when I was probably in 5th grade — a hip replacement. My stomach dropped a bit, but I couldn’t change the channel, especially when the power tools appeared. The next one was a procedure where a child’s face was being reshaped. I don’t remember too many details other than that the face from the hairline down past the ears had been separated from the underlying structure. The surgeon would flip the face skin down, chisel on the bones, and then flip it up to see the progress. About the only thing I can’t stand to watch are compound fractures of the lower leg.
I have recently discovered “Dr. Pimple Popper. ” I never planned to watch it, but there it was, and I could not look away. Lipomas emerging to take their first breaths and different flavors of cysts faithfully spewing forth their contents. Years ago I would have simply been intrigued by the science of the matter. But now I care much more about the souls than the science. What matters to me about this show are the people who are either so scared of doctors or so embarrassed about their bodies that they let these issues (and tissues) grow for years before seeking help. I can relate to that. I’m not scared of doctors like I’m scared of snakes or popping balloons, but I know what it’s like to put off medical concerns for years because of fear and embarrassment. Some would rather die in pain than deal with the issue. Ignorance is bliss. But, according to G.I. Joe, knowing is half the battle.
One the most striking lesson I’ve learned from Dr. Pimple Popper is that the doctor has seen it all. Never is she scared. Never is she shocked. Never is she embarrassed. Never is she intimidated. She cuts it and squeezes it and compares it to mashed potatoes. And if she can’t, she tells you that you’re beautiful and to stop worrying. Does God not do the same for us?
We sit on our painful doubts and dark thoughts about God and what he is doing or allowing to be done in the world. We cover them with hats and scarves and wear our hair down so that no one knows. Maybe we just stay home and hide. We tell ourselves that our doubts are embarrassing, that they make us unattractive and unacceptable. We cover them with duty, activity, and claims of false security, but we know what others do not or cannot see. If we bring these doubts to God, we fear that he will respond with a “well I’ve never seen one of those before,” or even “it’s too late to do anything about it now.” But this simply is not true and never has been. He has seen it all. What you think is abnormal and grotesque, he has dealt with thousands of times (figuratively, of course, because I’m not sure how to apply numbers and time to God).
My doubts are often burdens that I am ill-equipped or perhaps just not designed to carry. Jesus promises to take this burden and exchange it for his. This doesn’t mean that my doubts are resolved or my questions answered. But it does mean that my hope is renewed in a Person who can bear it. He is not intimidated, and I am not embarrassed or ashamed. In fact, my only regret is not coming to him sooner.
Shapes and Stories 